So much to write and so little time

My dear sweet jellybean.....today marks 8 weeks and 3 days since you joined us. Hmmmm, that means only 31 weeks and 4 days left to go! I'm afraid if I start counting like this the time will never pass! So much has been going on in our lives that I have barely had time to breathe let alone post. For starters we are buying a house, have our current house on the market, your dad wants to buy a different car and of course work is always busy. By the time I get home in the evenings I am exhausted and usually too tired to do much more than put on my pj's and watch tv. Last night I did manage to find the strength to plant some flowers and throw the football around with Nate. Speaking of Nate - he got chosen for the percussion section of the 6th grade band! He is so excited - out of 50 kids that tried out he was picked 7th!!

I had an appointment with Dr. Howell (he will be helping you into the world) last week and he seems very nice. He took time to answer our questions and ask some of his own. He scheduled a sonogram for June 6th so we can see you again! I can't wait to hear your little heart beating - I plan to record it so I can play it for your brother and grandparents. Your Papaw is keeping up with me everyday - sometimes I think he may be more excited than I am - in fact, he is the one who nicknamed you jellybean, so blame him! Granna and Poppa are also busy thinking of things they can do and buy. They have already claimed the right to buy your bed so at least you'll have a soft place to sleep when you get here. Then of course, Grandma and Grandpa are busy building your cradle - well probably Grandpa more than Grandma but I'm sure she is doing a good job of supervising :~)

Other than that - you daddy is a bit disappointed that the Dallas Stars didn't make it to the Stanley Cup but he is really excited about being able to take you to a hockey game next season. Your first outfit is a Dallas Star's outfit - Granna says if you're a girl you are going to look really funny in that green and black! Nate is excited about school almost being over.....boy does the time fly by! Seems like just yesterday we were touring his new school and now they are ready for summer break!

Keep growing strong sweet baby jellybean. I'm counting down the days until I can feel you move around! I already love you so much and I can't wait to meet you!

Things to note.....

Symptons:

extreme fatigue......who knew that you could actually be this tired AND be awake.
insomnia........not sure if this pregnancy related or just stress related. One thing I am sure of is that this is NOT helping to remedy sympton #1.
strong sense of smell......maple bacon - I think not!! I now have the ability to smell the office bathroom from all the way down the hall. This is a NOT SO pleasant side effect.
hormonal......now before anyone decides to run to the defense of my husband, I have been more mushy and sappy. I would like to think that I have kept my stinging tongue in check (most of the time!)

I haven't had a lot of morning sickness (thank you baby for being kind to your mommy!) and only a few days of heartburn.

Cravings:

Hamburger meat......anyone who knows me knows how weird that is because I don't really like meat???
Watermelon.......I can't wait until they are actually in season so I don't have to be a fortune for a little bitty melon!
Salsa.......this has really always been an obsession though.

Meeting baby for the first time...

We went for our firt sonogram on May 6th. Everything looked good according to Dr. K and we saw the tiny flickering heartbeat....WOW! By Dr. K's estimate I am due on December 28th. What an incredible Christmas gift this year!!

After the sonogram Dr. K said that everything looked "better than great" and released me to see a regular OB doctor.......WOOHOO for a normal doctor finally! So it was with a little bit of sadness that I said goodbye to Dr. K and his staff. They had been incredible and really helped me keep things in perspective when it got rough. I promised to bring our final product in for inspection sometime in January 2009!

Telling the family.....

After finding out that we were expecting on Wednesday (April 23rd), Dr. K wanted me to come back in for another blood test and ultrasound - just to make sure that the pain I had been experiencing in the first place was not a tubal pregnancy. As soon as the appointment was over and I was give the green light, I rushed to my mom's office to deliver her baby balloon, flowers and Granna goodybag. I was so excited to tell our parents that I was about to bust! My mom reacted exactly as I thought she would - first with shock that I was there and then with lots of tears and hugs! The minutes surrounding telling the grandparents are right up there with learning about it ourselves!

After leaving Granna's office, it was off to Papaw's house to deliver a balloon and Papaw goodybag. I wish I could say that my dad was as quick to catch on as my mom but that wasn't the case.....he stood in the doorway for a few minutes wondering why I wasn't at work. Actually i could see the worry on his face because I never miss work and I'm sure he was thinking something horrible had happened. I handed him the gift bag and balloon - he look puzzled and asked what it was.....geez Dad!! He finally got the hint and broke out in a smile. Although he would never admit it, there were tears shed there too!

We wanted to tell Rich's parents and Nate (big brother) at the same time so as soon as I got home from work we headed over to Grandma & Grandpa's house. Nate's gift was a Big Brother Toolbelt complete with tongs, safety glasses, clothes pins, air freshener, diapers, wipes and rubber gloves - all of these items were put in a handy dandy toolbelt that he could tie around his waist (it was really funny!). We got Grandma and Grandpa a card along with a legacy book for each of them. They opened the books and, like everyone else, look puzzled. Grandpa started opening the card which would formally announce our miracle but Rich couldn't wait - he finally just blurted it out. Obviously neither of us had eloquent words to tell about our upcoming arrival but I don't think it mattered. With the amount of hugs, tears, laughter and screaming (yes Aunt Janet screamed)no one missed an Academy Awared winning speech.

Life changing words......

The words "you're pregnant" carry such a huge significance. A weight that I could never have understood until I heard them. I still tear up thinking about that day, those few moments in time when the world stood still and I felt the hand of God reach down into my heart.

Actually I had been ill due to some massive doses of fertility meds.....there is just nothing pretty about a grumpy, swollen, hormonal woman (ask my poor husband) but I digress.....I had been ill and had actually been to the doctor on a semi-emergency trip the day before (April 22nd). Dr. K examined and proceeded to tell me what problems and complications I was having and sent me home with some pain medicine and strict instruction to rest. Before I left his office he mentioned doing a blood test to make sure that I wasn't pregnant. I remember laughing at him and assuring him that I had already taken 2 tests at home not to mention I just thought the timing was off for the last cycle. In reality, I had made peace with the fact that pregnancy may or may not be possible for me - I had prayed and finally released over to God. In return, I was given a surreal sense of peace. You know that "peace that passes all understanding"? I willingly sat down in the chair and let the nurse dig around in my arm for a vein, then left. In fact, on the way home I called Rich and complained about having to get blood drawn again by the "mean nurse". I made it home, Rich got my prescription and I camped out on the couch for the evening. I had already prepared myself for our last round of fertility drugs so I honestly didn't think twice about the blood test.

The next morning I drug myself out of bed and to work. I felt awful but there was no reason to feel awful at home - at least at work I could get something done. I finally decided to head out to pick up some lunch and I wasn't in my car for 5 minutes when the phone rang. I contemplated not answering it because I knew it was the Dr.'s office - I didn't need one more thing to make me feel icky. The phone continued to ring and I rummaged through my purse to find it. I answered the phone having no idea that my whole life would change instantly......the nurse said "you're pregnant" and I didn't believe her. I kept telling her that she was wrong and was she sure and this isn't funny. Eventually she was able to convince that fertility doctors don't usually call their patients and pull horrible April Fool's jokes like that - I was shocked and hysterical all at the same time. I was crying uncontrollably and pulled my car over so that I could Rich at work. I wish that I had some great romantic story to tell about how I told him but I pretty much just blurted it out (through hysterical sobs of course).

Those were the most magical minutes of my life. Even now I am amazed at how I instantly fell in love with this jellybean. I had no idea that you could be so in love with someone that you never even knew existed. I feel so blessed that my struggle through infertility has ended and I am able to experience the joys of pregnancy and motherhood.

The beginning.....

For most of you reading this you all know our "story" but for those that don't I'll put it down as quickly as possible. Rich and I married in January of 2005 with the intentions of waiting a year or so before getting pregnant. Little did we know that that getting pregnant would not be as easy for us as we thought. We started trying in August of 2006 and after no success on our own we were referred to a specialist that dealt with infertility.

As soon as met with Dr. K I felt some hope. I was diagnosed with PCOS which is a disorder caused by insulin resistance and required me to take Metformin and eventually Clomid. Long story short - after 21 LONG months of trying we were blessed with a pregnancy. We are thrilled, our families are excited and I know that God has great things in store for the little "jellybean".........more on how that came about in another post!